I've been struggling spiritually for about the last six weeks and have been attending mass with my friend hoping to find what I seemingly lost. I even went so far as to think of joining the Catholic church. Chalk it up to menopause, the realization of a past life experience and the fact that I really haven't been acting upon my faith as a Wiccan. Realizing that I have not been following through with Sabbatt and Esbat rituals and it's no wonder I feel empty and lost.
So, with this newfound realization, I am, so to speak, back in the saddle. I am planning a Blue Moon ritual for August 31st (the second moon of this month) and am also planning for Mabon. My altar will begin it's transformation towards the end of this month and I'm planning on making a Mabon thanksgiving upon my return from Canada at the end of September. A few days late, but still celebrating the Sabbatt.
I'm also connecting with the elements. I'm spending more time outside and today I'm even going to the pool to hang out in the sun and water. My spirit is saying (actually it's yelling) YES! I've also created an elemental altar in my kitchen window. I've put some stones there that I gathered from Sedona, creating a cairn. I have a crystal quartz cluster that I received in my Reiki class. I also have an angel that a new friend gave me at the end of our time together in Sedona. And, I'm having a new Elemental Rosary made (more on that in another post).
I'm feeling better than I have in weeks and all because I've reconnected to my true path. I had wound myself up so tightly thinking that going back to church and becoming something I'm not would feed my soul. I was wrong. What feeds my soul is what I've been doing for the last two years. Only now I realize that the Goddess has called me to action. No more laying around thinking about doing ritual or saying prayers. It's time to break out the candles, incense and athame and put myself to rights . . . and for this I am truly blessed!