I've been struggling spiritually for about the last six weeks and have been attending mass with my friend hoping to find what I seemingly lost. I even went so far as to think of joining the Catholic church. Chalk it up to menopause, the realization of a past life experience and the fact that I really haven't been acting upon my faith as a Wiccan. Realizing that I have not been following through with Sabbatt and Esbat rituals and it's no wonder I feel empty and lost.
So, with this newfound realization, I am, so to speak, back in the saddle. I am planning a Blue Moon ritual for August 31st (the second moon of this month) and am also planning for Mabon. My altar will begin it's transformation towards the end of this month and I'm planning on making a Mabon thanksgiving upon my return from Canada at the end of September. A few days late, but still celebrating the Sabbatt.
I'm also connecting with the elements. I'm spending more time outside and today I'm even going to the pool to hang out in the sun and water. My spirit is saying (actually it's yelling) YES! I've also created an elemental altar in my kitchen window. I've put some stones there that I gathered from Sedona, creating a cairn. I have a crystal quartz cluster that I received in my Reiki class. I also have an angel that a new friend gave me at the end of our time together in Sedona. And, I'm having a new Elemental Rosary made (more on that in another post).
I'm feeling better than I have in weeks and all because I've reconnected to my true path. I had wound myself up so tightly thinking that going back to church and becoming something I'm not would feed my soul. I was wrong. What feeds my soul is what I've been doing for the last two years. Only now I realize that the Goddess has called me to action. No more laying around thinking about doing ritual or saying prayers. It's time to break out the candles, incense and athame and put myself to rights . . . and for this I am truly blessed!
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Teresa,
ReplyDeleteI found my way to your blog via Hibiscus Moon, and when I read this post I laughed because I can completely relate. I have been walking the Wiccan (and now more Pagan) path for several years, but I keep having what I call "Catholic phases". I make myself crazy trying to fit myself into that mold (at least they have Mary, right?), but it never works, and when I return to my right path there is so much joy and a feeling of rightness.
And yet, eventually, I hit the Catholic phase again. I was not raised Catholic and my family is not Catholic, so it especially odd. I've finally come to believe (and I write this only half-jokingly) that I must have been a monk or nun in a past life and am having trouble shaking those vows.
I enjoy your posts and am so glad that things feel right for you again. The issue of practicing versus just reading and thinking is a tricky one, and something I think we all struggle with. Many blessings on your new path of action!
Amy
i love this post! it resonates with me so much as i have been at a stand still on my path as well. i am basically standing in the middle of a road watching everyone go by.
ReplyDeletei too have thought of joining the catholic church to fill a void i feel i have in my life. this is very out of character for me in many ways as i was raised southern baptist. i then found my way to assembly of God church but once again i wasn't fulfilled.
i hope you enjoy being back in the saddle! your altar is lovely!
blessings!
I love the look of your elemental altar. Will look forward to seeing what you prepare for Mabon, too. So glad to hear that you are refinding your path, and feeling spiritually renewed :)
ReplyDeleteBB,
Kerry
Recently I discovered your blog while searching for altar ideas and information about Lughnasadh. I instantly fell in love with your blog and even created one of my own thanks to yours. Anyway I was drawn to comment on this post because I have recently found myself in a similar situation with my religious beliefs. I have been questioning myself about my beliefs and even considered Catholicism. Just as I was about to post something about it in my blog I decided to check and see what you had posted lately. To my astonishment I found this post. It helped me realize that the reason I am having problems is because I have fallen away from my faith and neglected it. I feel ashamed about this and thank you for this post. It has helped me greatly.
ReplyDeleteThank you all ladies for posting your views and what you have been going through with regards to your faith. Your comments have helped me a great deal and I think it's so heart-warming that we can all share and know that we're not alone in this.
ReplyDeleteLove and Light,
Teresa
No, you are certainly not alone Teresa. I too have been wandering around spiritually... for a long time now. I was raised Catholic all growing up. However, for the life of me... nothing there aside from the saints moved me. My mother feels that she "failed" somehow in my upbringing and that perhaps forcing me to mass more would've steered me straight. Well, I'm 29 now and still pretty crooked I suppose! ;) I've had feelings all along regarding my beliefs but I couldn't put my finger on it. Finally, after all this time, that what I feel while gazing at the moon is *probably* what most devout Christians feel while looking upon the crucifx.. I realized my path and have only just begun my journey. Thank you for sharing your story! Beautiful altars by the way!(they helped me find your blog) :)
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