I'm a seeker. Always searching out the answers to questions most of us are privy to. Where did we come from? Where are we going? What is our purpose? And just when I think I've found the answers, more questions are raised. New ideas are layed before me making me rethink what I think I already know. Will I ever know the Truth? I suspect that when I transition, all will be revealed and I will be able to rest in Eternity in perfect love and perfect trust. Until then, I'm left to ponder these Universal questions.
I began my spiritual life as a Christian in the Luthern faith. Not strict church goers we were left to make our decision each Sunday whether or not to go to Sunday School. Sometimes my sister and I would board the Church bus and take ourselves, other times our mother would accompany us. My father was and is an atheist. Although, between you and me, I sometimes think he's actually agnostic. I searched for God in the churches of Luthern, Baptist, Evangelical, Pentecostal, Seventh Day Adventist and at one point or another I read about John Smith (Mormonism) and even Jehovah and Scientology. And while I've always been deeply spiritual, I found these churches did not fill my soul.
A few years ago, after feeling a deep, gut-wrenching emptiness, I discovered Paganism and Wicca. And, more importantly, I found the Goddess, the Divine Feminine . . . I found balance. Or rather, I should say, She found me working in the garden. I embraced the Divine feminine and came to know her as Green Tara and then, as She would have it, Mother Mary. I've developed a strong and undeniable bond with Mary (interestingly enough my Earth mother's name is Mary). She is the one I look to for spiritual support and growth, intercessor and guide in my Earthly life, and companionship in prayer. In short, she's my Go-To-Girl.
Lately I've been reading and learning about the Catholic faith. Don't laugh . . . or cry . . . it's all a process and I'm feeling guided in this direction. Yes, the Church definitely has its' faults, but there's beauty too. Will I become a member or a cherished parishioner? Highly unlikely. You see I also strongly believe in and practice Reiki, something the Church has officially banned. Ah, for closed minds . . .
But then there's also something called 'Science of the Mind' by Earnest Holmes (please don't confuse this with Tom Cruise's Scientology - and what's up with him and Katie, eh?). Religious Science is something that Louise Hay (you know her book 'You Can Heal Your Life') subscribes to . . . positive intentions and affirmations are her trademark. I find this fascinating.
And so you see, spirituality can't be labeled. No one authority holds the whole and complete Truth no matter what they say. I think we owe it to ourselves to explore, to question and to hold true to our own truths . . . I respect you and you respect me should be the law of the land. But then again, who am I? I AM . . . that's all. I'm a spiritual being having a human experience . . . and doesn't that say it all? I believe that my purpose is to learn, to grow, to experience, to question, to love, to explore where no man has (oops sorry, I digress) . . . to just BE as in BE still and know that I AM God.
And so what does all this have to do with the Divine Mother? It's because she's a part of everything and anything that I do. She's there to guide me, to comfort me, to make sure that I stay on the path. She's loving and compassionate and understanding. She doesn't judge, she doesn't chastize. She allows me to be me in all my fullness. She knows my heart. She's my intercessor and my greatest advocate. She never lets me down. And so I go forward in the knowledge that I do not go alone . . . that whatever I do, I have her blessing, because she KNOWS in the end that I will make the right and true choices for me. And so it is for you . . .
Like I said in my moniker . . . up, down and everywhere inbetween.